If I could go back in time and teach my younger self anything it would be the value of knowing my worth. And not an overly inflated and superficial worth that is based in my appearance, possessions or status but a worth that is entrenched in God’s values. Understanding my worth has been vital in how I engage with other people and specifically how I operate in romantic relationships. I always felt in the past I had to prove who I was to my love interest, like I was trying out for America’s Next Top Model and it was my job to make them see my awesomeness. I’ve exhausted myself slaving over the stove making opulent meals, wearing clothes that accentuated my best assets, writing dissertations to prove my intellect and so many more over the top ridiculous behaviors I engaged in to show off my value.
I am not sure if it has been age and experience or truly coming into a closer relationship with God but today I fully understand my worth. I understand that a good man already sees a good woman for who she truly is without the dog and pony show. Furthermore, If I truly trusted God, not passive aggressively trusted God (that’s a whole other blog post) than I wouldn’t feel the need to help God out when it came to my love life (Proverbs 3:5). There is so much rest and peace found in allowing God to take control, following the promptings of the Holy Spirit and standing on God’s word. I am not going to lie though it is difficult to be still when you are 30+ and feel like your biological clock is ticking and see everyone around you in marital bliss – I know. However, I came to the realization that God’s best for me in this very moment in time is singleness; and I am at peace knowing that.
By sitting at the feet of God in prayer, reading scripture and listening to his voice I’ve begin to understand who I truly am. I am beloved and treasured by God (Philippians 4:8); I am full of the Holy Spirit’s power and strength (1 Corinthians 3:16); I have the ability to give supernatural love and joy to all those I encounter (Galatians 5:22); I am humble and compassionate (Colossians 3:12); I am generous and kind (Ephesians 2:10); I am wise and hardworking ( 1 Corinthians 1:30); I am the righteous of God through Christ (2 Corinthians 5:21); I am free (Galatians 5:1). These are the things that are the fiber of my being, they are the very best of everything I have to offer those in my life and specifically my future partner. You can not purely see these qualities in a tight skirt or a well cooked meal; you need God’s lenses to see my real worth.
Understanding your worth allows you to walk through life with confidence, knowing that no one can belittle or steal your very best because it comes from God. You begin to filter love interest better because if someone can not see your spiritual self then how can they love you for who you truly are. You begin to feel whole and complete knowing that it is not another person that completes you but it is God. Finally, you listen and engage with humility knowing that all of your greatness is available to anyone who accepts Christ as their savior.
So stop working hard to prove to someone how great you are; those who are supposed to see it will recognize it without all your work. Be still.