By: Ameera Rouse
Usually when a couple gets engaged they are flooded with the typical questions like: "Did you set the date?" and "How did he propose?", but the past couple months have proved otherwise. While I am still asked those typical questions, I have found that my closest friends want answers to the harder questions like: "How did you know he was the one?" and "How do you two make it work?".
By no means am I a relationship expert but I must admit that friends, family, and complete strangers cant help but notice the dynamic I have with my fiancé. I have heard people say things like " you're lucky you found one of the last good men"; the problem with this is that if you have already decided that there are no good men left you have already set yourself up for failure. I am a strong believer that you will attract what you exude-- if you walk around speaking failure then u will attract Mr. Failure.... if you go around speaking depression and doubt-- that is who you will attract. Speak positivity and claim joy in your life!
I think it is important to be at a point in your life where you know who you are, before meeting “the one”. So many people parade around claiming to have found themselves but their own relationships are a testament of immaturity and lack of self-discovery. When you know who you are, you have achieved a level of attraction far beyond the physical.
When I first met my fiancé I was at a point in my life where I felt so in tuned with myself and so aligned with God's will for me. Despite going through the storm of not having enough money to register for classes and being the only one of my friends who had a full time job with mounting tuition bill and not to mention a monthly rent payment, I had found peace. In the midst of a storm I had tapped into a part of me that I didn't know existed, by no means was I perfect, but I felt complete.
Then he came... I remember thinking that there was something so noticeably different about him; looking back I know that not only was he different but I had been so accustomed to choosing guys that werewrong for me that when right came along I could recognize the difference. He didn't look at me how the other guys looked at me; he looked past any physical attraction and saw my most beloved attribute-- myspirit. He was patient and kind and when I examined his interactions with his friends and family it didn't take long to realize that he was respectful and loving. I could talk to him, not on the superficial surface level, but I could be myself-- I could be vulnerable without him trying to change me. He appreciated all of me; unlike so many guys who might try and pick and choose the attributes they like about you and before long you are talking different, dressing different and acting different.
When he saw that I was going through a storm, instead of running full speed in the opposite direction, he stood beside me and offered his strength to get me through the tough times. I saw God in him-- so clearly! I profoundly understood, in those moments where he offered himself, that it was no accident that we met; he was the result of me seeking God.
Of course we were met with obstacles but our ability to go through them together made us so strong; we had both reached a level of maturity that was essential to our ability to overcome "relationship road blocks". We had entered into this relationship as two complete people who each had something to bring to the table. Too often there is one person in the relationship who is taking and one who is giving-- this is why, in my opinion, most relationships are unsuccessful: there is a constant "push-pull" dynamic where one person will end up exhausted from constantly catering to the other's needs and when the other person has taken everything they will eventually leave.
At the end of the day I knew he was the one because my journey in life aligned with his. We met at the same juncture in life (not financially or career wise) but on a much deeper spiritual level. I knew I was there to help him live his purpose and he was there to help me live mine.
What do you think? How do you know when you have found “The one”? Share your thoughts!