Faith: A single person's truth; Marriage & Dating
In today’s world we have an abundance of advice about finding the “One” flying at us from all corners. Books like Think Like a Man, Why Men Marry Bitches and He’s Just not that into you; claim to have all the dating answers and tools you’ll need to get married. Mind you I have read and own all of those books and at some point in my dating life I have sabotaged a relationship and or given myself a migraine trying to implement all this advice. However, in all of our human wisdom we still can’t seem to get it right. We look to other humans and their personal truths on fulfilling a companionship desire that was given to us by God. We look to Jay-Z & Beyoncé or Barack & Michelle to teach us how to love instead of looking to God. We allow anyone to speak into our single lives and we become walking clones of human mistakes instead of shining vessels of God’s glory.
God hears our prayers! He knows we have been walking with him and praying for a mate, he knows that we have not been held or spooned in many months if not years and he knows that we want LOVE and human connection. However, God is not going to bless us until we completely surrender. And you may be thinking “Girl I surrendered my love life to God years ago” but God gives us a look at what the manifestation of surrendering looks like in Genesis 2:22-23.
“Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib” Wait for a minute, pause. So, God makes wives? He molds us, sharpens us, breaks us and turns us into wives. So how can we allow God to make us into a wife for a God given man if we don’t spend time with God? The making is not going to happen in passing as we go from work, the gym and social gatherings. The making happens in that one on one personal time we spend with God and through a relationship with Christ. That making happens when we start passing the test God throws at us. Making is not done by personal trainers, beauticians or taking love advice from Stevie Harvey and all the other popular relationship gurus. Making is personal and it takes time. Most importantly we cannot make ourselves. One of my favorite speakers and teachers Rev. Thursell Watts said “We shape ourselves to be a rib for the wannabe Adams, then when the real Adam shows up he doesn’t even recognize us.” Stop working so hard and just BE. Let God do the work, we just need to spend the time and allow ourselves to be made.
The second thing the scripture says is “And he brought her to the man.” How powerful is that?! So God presents us to our Adam. So I don’t have to go online and search hundreds of profiles to find him? You mean I don’t have to go to happy hour scouting out potential prospects? You mean I don’t have to fill his ear on the first date with how fly I am? You mean I don’t have to like and comment on every one of his Facebook post? You mean I don’t have to slave and cook him 5 course meals to show how I would be a great wife? Yes that is exactly what I mean. God will do the presenting, he made you and he will show off his master piece to the right and perfect Man for you.
Lastly, and the most exciting thing, and the point where I bust out laughing with joy while reading my bible was Man’s reaction: “AT LAST, the man exclaimed! This ONE is bone of my bone.” So wait a minute; Man was excited when Woman was presented to him? Man claimed her and changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship with Woman.” Man was not second guessing or weighing his options or looking for other help mates.
The truth is that God’s plan for our love lives is quite simple. The wisdom and truth for being with the person our heart desires is found in a few short lines in Genesis 2:22-23 not in a whole book of finite human wisdom based on years of trial and error. The real answer to what we should do is found by seeking God. Have faith, surrender and allow God to make you. For men allow God to open your eyes so you can recognize your rib. Give your hear t to God and allow him to shape and mold you into the vessel he has called you to be.
What are your thoughts? Feel free to share and comment.